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3 Levels of High Value Relationships: Soulmate - Bodymate - Spiritmate

Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings.

And finding a mate is regarded as one of the primary tasks of adulthood.

With social media increasing opportunities to connect with people around the world, access to each other has never been more convenient.

Just the click of a button and a selfie post followed by likes and friend requests offers a temporary dopamine rush that simulates a feeling of well-being.

Although this can be great for outer circle connections, expectations for inner circle intimacy is different.

Good relationships don’t just happen.

While the need for human connection appears to be innate, the ability to form those healthy partnerships has to be learned.

They must be cultivated and nurtured. . . over a period of time.

From initial meeting, attraction and passion - to intimacy, love and trust.

From curiosity, interest and infatuation - to commitment and loyalty.

Year by year, love blooms or fails.

We all have our regrets, from the ones that got away to the ones that never should have been.

Relationships vary, depending on the presence or absence of basic human mating suitability.

Unlike the animals, whose mating experience is often purely sexual, we are complex

with the ability to bond on much deeper levels, reaching the depths of our spirit and soul.

This type of connection provides friendship, and an environment conducive for building a thriving life.

So. . .how do we make high value relationship choices?


Understand the basics of human connection.

Think about it like rooms that we each have:

  • a room for your spirit,

  • a room for your soul,

  • and a room for your body.

Each time we meet someone, with verbal conversation, body language or natural affinity, we are assessing their compatibility for each room.

The body room is physiological, so connections are related to the physical aspects of self, like:

  • foodie friends exploring restaurants,

  • sports buddies exploring basketball,

  • or casual daters that physically connect with no soul or spirit expectations.

These are bodymates, where passion and lust is easy. They connect on the lower body level in the body room.

The soul room, on the other hand, is for the mind, will-power and emotions. Those connecting on an intellectual, emotional and goal-oriented level meet here:

  • to investigate mentally stimulating information,

  • to develop emotional curiosity,

  • and to support our journey from latent potential to a purpose driven life.

These are soulmates. Where exploring the essence of our human drive is easy.

They connect on the middle level. In the soul room.

The spirit room is for intuition, soul-awareness and selfless transcendence. These connections enjoy experiences like:

  • community work,

  • focused meditation

  • and exploring spirituality.

They share this space with you as you look for meaning and fulfillment. These are spiritmates. They connect on the highest level possible in the human spirit. Where peace and tranquility reside. Only in the spirit room.


Next, become an expert in all three of your rooms.

This is where the biggest mistakes are made.

Many of us are following a generic, social engineered idea of mating.

Often seeking the lowest body level of human connection and disappointed when it’s short term.

Unmet expectations are at the root of most broken relationships.

Knowing yourself is key to inviting the right people into your rooms.

If you’re only interested in the physiological aspects only, like:

  • money,

  • sex

  • and public persona,

Be honest with yourself and don’t try enter the rooms with soul and spirit mates.

It’s like oil and water. They never mix well. And the chameleon effect never works.

On the other hand, if your soulfully intellectual and intimate with your spirit, a candidate living on the body level only will never meet your soul and spirit expectations.

Be honest and selective with inviting those already interested in the levels you occupy.

Take the time to know yourself “before” inviting others into your spaces.


Finally. . . learn to recognize high-value mates.

They are a combination of spiritmate, soulmate and bodymate.

You can flow with them, from one room to the next, touching your:

  • spirit,

  • soul

  • and body,

on a long-term basis. . . walking through life with you, with the ability to reconnect and come out in love, even after hardship.

But for many, this level of connection is not with one person. You may have a mixture like:

  • a life partner as a bodymate, with you for all material and physiological connections,

  • a best friend that’s a soulmate, for deep discussions and intellectual development,

  • and a parent that’s a spiritmate, walking with you through transcendence and authentic selflessness.

Opportunity is not the same for everyone. . . so take good care of the opportunities you do have.

Learn to recognize high-value mates, and become one yourself.

One step at a time. . .

A balanced “Me” becomes a stronger community of “We”.

Subscribe to explore the commonalities of our humanity with us.

One topic at a time. . . from the inside out.

Welcome to Circles of You.


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