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7 Essential Qualities of High Value Mates

According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey, the gap between married and single adults has narrowed to a near 50/50 ratio.

One out of every two American adults are single.

Studies have shown that loving relationships have massive benefits, like:

  • living longer,

  • a greater sense of purpose and meaning,

  • and more opportunities for shared experiences.

The Match Group has turned this basic human need into a global business,

with an estimated annual revenue of 2.39 billion in 2020.

Although The Match Group has more than 40 global dating companies, including:

  • Tinder,


  • and Plenty of Fish,

there are many more options to choose from.

As easy access to online dating has increased, why has the number of committed relationships decreased?

There are many reasons that can be explored to answer this question.

However, we will zoom in on the one that the user controls - the power of choice.

Whether swiping in an app or meeting at a community event, the key to long-lasting relationships is “conscious coupling”.

Knowing who you are, what you want in a life partner and connecting with those with the same progressive life vision is the hidden secret to high value relationships.

So. . . what are the 7 essential qualities of high value mates?


Elevated Core Beliefs

These values are the foundation of how we see ourselves and the world around us,


  • work ethic,

  • respect,

  • responsibility,

  • commitment,

  • trust and integrity.

Let’s use our critical thinking skills with the work ethic core belief to explore conscious coupling.

When asking the question,

  • "What would do if you won a $400 million dollar lottery?”

the answer reveals many unspoken details about the person’s core beliefs.

For example, one date in the prime of their highest producing years

may respond with:

  • “I would never work again.”

Another date in their highest producing years may say:

  • “Since all of my personal needs would be met, I would use the excess after establishing generational wealth to create a learning platform for the 7 most in demand jobs.

  • My aim would be to assist with 2 problems: educating students in poverty to work in high demand fields. While lifting them out of poverty, we would also assist with the progress of the work force.

Use your critical thinking skills to decide which date to keep.

The couch potato or the world changer.

This is conscious coupling.


Matured Communication Skills

Notice how well they listen when you speak.

Do they ask deep questions that make you further explore your own ideas?

Or, are they just waiting to speak themselves?

Their response to your expressions can reveal either selfishness or selflessness.

Some of the most important communication skills include:

  • active listening,

  • expressing thoughts clearly,

  • a willingness to clarify for understanding,

  • and the ability to fairly deal with disagreements.

This is conscious coupling.


Personality Blends with Yours

Knowing and understanding your personality is one of the most powerful ways

to choose a mate that is of high value to you.

For example, an introvert may desire another introvert with the ability to enter into each other’s thought spaces.

This could be heavenly for both.

However, that may never work with 2 contrarians. Inclined to disagree and do the opposite of what is desired, conflict will be on the menu during most of the relationship.

Know who you are and understand the basics of personality blends to date for conscious coupling.


Balance of Core Energies

Although we usually have a mixture of both feminine and masculine, we naturally lead with one form of energy over the other.

Social engineering in our culture has led many to promote feminine or masculine mask to fit into whatever the current trending definition is.

Over time, many couples lose the passion in their relationship as the masks come off and the natural energy emerges.

Consciously couple by dating long enough to develop a friendship with a safe space for each of you to truly be yourself.

Divorce popular opinion and cultivate your own energies to embrace an authentic energy playmate.

This is consciously coupling.


Clear Life Plan with Similar Journeys

If you have a roadmap for your life, prioritizing what is important to you, your mate’s journey should have a similar path.

If your vision includes:

  • financial independence,

  • a family with kids laughing and playing,

  • or serial entrepreneurship in the land of opportunity,

consciously couple with mates that naturally want that as well. You are headed in the same direction and now have a companion with shared goals to journey with.

If your life vision includes weekends and evenings with video games and drunk friends, your mate’s life plan should have a similar path.

This is consciously coupling.


An Intrinsic Sense of Humor

It’s the external expression of internal joy that shows up in a natural ability to find laughter in daily life.

While others need to be entertained for joy, like: travelling, buying new things or getting likes for the most recent selfie, the high value mate has a vivid imagination

with the capacity to use wit in both observational and topical humor.

They enjoy the daily elements of life and are a joy to be around.

This is conscious coupling.


Interest in Others

There will always be many conversations about people, events and ideas.

The difference in the high value mate is the action that comes after exploring ideas.

While most make space in their life for self and those in transactional relationships with them, the high value mate will also have an interest in those unable to return favors.

They will have an elevated capacity to focus on issues that are preventing people

from making the most of their life.

They empower the world and we have the privilege of lighting that life fire with them and watching it burn.

This is conscious coupling.

One step at a time. . .

A balanced “Me” becomes a stronger community of “We”.

Subscribe to explore the commonalities of our humanity with us.

One topic at a time. . . from the inside out.

Welcome to Circles of You.


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